Week 20 – Rollercoaster

Introduction

It would be apt to describe this weekend as a rollercoaster – not the cheesy metaphor suggesting that there have been a lot of highs and lows – but more to describe the sheer elation that this week has brought along with it! 

Most importantly, I did not have a low point at all this week! Yes, I have felt tired, completely overwhelmed and have been worrying about whether or not the students have met any of my learning objectives at all… but I have not felt consumed by panic and anxiety – a first for me!

As well as this, my AT has agreed with me that I will be starting to be alone in the classroom with the year 9s we share, I have shared a few resources that are being used with the faculty (one of them being an important literacy focus sheet that all year 9s will be sticking in their books for as long as they teach the 19^thcentury unit!) and Friday brought two massive highs: a fantastic UT visit and finding out I have got a distinction in my first EPS assignment.

So, all around, I am very happy! Now, I know a few people may be thinking that I am boasting about my good fortune. This is not the case – the main reason I am writing this down and sharing it on the internet is that will undoubtedly need a reminder of how good teaching can feel at some point over the next few months – (probably on multiple occasions!). So, anyone reading this that knows me…. When this inevitably happens point me in this direction!!

Alone in the classroom

My AT had popped out a few times last week, never for longer than a few minutes. The first time this happened I completely had an internal freak out – what will I do without my safety blanket? How will I know if I am completely failing these amazing students in front of me?! 

So, when he had the conversation with me about him dropping his presence in the classroom to one lesson a week, I had a tangle of conflicting emotions: my AT actually thinks I am a competent enough teacher to be left alone – I must be doing great! Versus AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!

However, when the time came for me to be left alone for the majority of the lesson, I couldn’t have loved it more! It really felt like they were finally my own class; I’m not just borrowing them for a bit here and there – I am their official, real, true-life teacher for these two schemes of work. It felt amazing. I could feel myself oozing with confidence and this worked wonders in engaging my learners. I am so excited for the next few weeks, finishing off 19^thcentury prose with them!

On a side note, one of my highlights this week was reading a section of Bleak House with my year 9s. I had one boy reading as Jo, a cockney, very poor and young street sweeper, and another boy reading as Lady Dedlock, a very wealthy, fashionable lady. They completely nailed the parts and it was an absolute pleasure to witness! It was definitely one of those that-is-why-I-have-gone-into-teaching moments! J

Rising Star – 6^thform helper!

It is worth pointing out here that I will not be completely alone for 3 of my lessons a fortnight – I will be having a ‘rising star’ in with me. The rising stars programme is for sixth form students looking to put something extra on their CVs/ personal statements – they pick the subject they are interested in and work as a kind of TA in the class. 

Boy does this take me back! The whole reason I am an English teacher is because my incredible A-Level teacher took me under her wing and allowed me to help out in a few of her classes. I can honestly say that without that experience, I would not be where I am now.  She completely inspired me and made me feel as if I was good enough to make a difference in other people’s lives, and it is an experience that will stick with me for the rest of my life.

And now I am standing in front of a class of students, with the opportunity to do the same to my rising star…. And I am not even qualified yet! This student is also in both of the year 12 classes I will be teaching, and he even asked me excitedly if I would be taking their classes soon! I am completely keen to get him helping out as much as he feels comfortable with – I gave him a particularly difficult passage form Bleak House to read and he nailed it! Very proud already… and very excited to hopefully inspire him as Mrs M inspired me!

EPS assignment 2

As mentioned before, today I found out my last assignment achieved a distinction, which I am completely over the moon! The main area of improvement I had was to write more on how this will impact my own practice, so that is something I will keep in mind for my next assignments.

But for now, this is done and dusted, and it is now time to face forward to ensure that I do not let my standards drop – something that is a very real possibility, considering the difference in workload on this placement, and something that I plan on being completely honest about! In monitoring my work ethic in this way, I hope to be able to pinpoint any reasons as to why I perform in a certain way – I like lists and organisation… this worked in my undergrad and will hopefully work for me again this year!

As I believe I have mentioned previously, I will be looking at high achieving sixth form students and how feedback can be used to aid pupil progression. This assignment is pass/ fail – not at masters level – thus the stakes are much lower, so I feel way more comfortable about taking my time with it, prioritising my lesson plans. Although, saying this, I plan to get the majority of my reading done by this week, and begin to look at pinning some teachers down to interview in the near future! The only thing I am worried about, is that the research will be boring or will not be of any use to anyone. Feedback, in my opinion, is one of the most important things in teaching, and I want to be able to give my learners, present and future, every opportunity I can to achieve and even surpass their target grades.

University Tutor Visit

It felt pretty surreal to have my UT observing me so soon into P2 – that is, until I realised that we are actually half way through P2 now! (Pretty scary when I think about the amount of work I need to cover with my classes before their end of unit assessments!) 

Friday timings are slightly different in this school, as they have extended tutor time, and I had already agreed to take the tutor session before my UT timetabled our observations. I had a few stressful thoughts – there are a lot of lovely students in my tutor group (year 10s) but they are probably the least engaged class I have worked with so far and will constantly chat throughout any of the sessions. I am a little unsure as to whether planned tutor sessions for every tutor is fair to the students – I have many fond memories of tutor time just being a bit of fun – light relief from the heavy work load placed on secondary school students! Obviously, there are some issues to cover, but surely it should be down to the tutor to decide when and how they deliver the topics?

That being said, the session I delivered today was ridiculously interesting! So much so that the class was completely engaged, and nearly all the chatter in the class was about the topic! Very exciting to me – especially with my UT watching! We had a look at algorithms, self-driving cars and thought experiments (much to many of my tutees’ delight, we watched this clip from The Good Place: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWb_svTrcOg) Following this, we had many interesting discussions about ethics and whether it is right to prioritise ourselves or our loved ones instead of thinking about the ‘greater good’. 

I’m not going to lie… the nervous sweats had started before then and they weren’t letting up for my year 9 lesson I was being formally observed in! To have both my university tutor and head of English in with me – and me wanting to impress both of them! – was a little too much for my stress levels to deal with rationally! But, much to my relief, the feedback I had was completely fantastic, and I am still aiming for the ‘very good’ teacher pen profile – a realistic target for me, which is good to know! 

I think part of my success today was down to my subject knowledge – I taught a lesson where my students wrote a piece of travel writing about Fiji. Those who know me, are aware that Fiji is my favourite country in the whole world, and I hold it very dear to my heart as my beloved grandparents lived there for 3 years. Being able to tell my class little anecdotes – even having one of my students (usually too ‘cool’ to appear interested in anything I say) putting her hand up to ask in awe “Wait, miss have you actually been here?!” – felt completely amazing. 

What was even more amazing was marking their work this evening. These students who have never set foot in Fiji – some of them had never even heard of Fiji – have convincingly written about ‘Kava’ and ‘Fiji time’. I can’t even put into words how proud I am on them… I can’t wait to tell them on Tuesday! And, even more importantly, I believe I am doing my grandparents proud, following in their footsteps with both Fiji and teaching!

J

Currently Reading:

Poppies– Jane Weir

Another one of the anthology poems! Again, I have found I really enjoyed this poem – even more excitingly for me, one of my bottom set students gave a beautiful explanation as to why we wear poppies (even referencing In Flanders Fields!). 

The Importance of Being Ernest – Oscar Wilde

I have finally finished this play! Again, I am obsessed with it – I love Wilde’s works! The twist at the end was completely fantastic and I am tempted to do some extra reading around it, to see if any contextual factors influence my reading of it! I will definitely be reading some more Wilde in the near future, however, for now, I feel as if I should move to reading something maybe more contemporary?

Bleak House– Charles Dickens

Still persevering with this epic novel! I am enjoying it and, the more my AT explains little parts of it, the more I am truly appreciating Dickens’ genius!

Girlhood– Cat Clarke

I always find YA fiction easy to read – in some ways it is more addictive than some of the other genres I read, as they are often very accessible and easy to read, as well as including gripping plots. This was no exception.

Girlhoodfollows the protagonist, Harper, who goes to a private boarding school as her family won the lottery – the day her twin sister dies. It is a story about friendship, mental health issues and family. It is definitely more for older teenagers to read, there are a lot of mature themes to deal with, as well as (as far as I remember – could be wrong!) some coarse language. Nevertheless, there are a few interesting twists – predictable, but enjoyable all the same!