Week 30 – Procrastination

Introduction

I wasn’t going to write a blog post this week, save up the 3 weeks and write one blog – not much to comment on when I’m not in school or uni. But then, reading 2 posts from 2 different fellow PGCE students, I was inspired.

Firstly, I forgot to mention last week that I was part of year 12 parents’ evening (a friend wrote about his parents evening experience last week, reminding me to talk about it this week!). I know I helped out at tutor evening waaay back in P1, but I hadn’t really gotten to know my tutees that well by then. Luckily, I had them for English as well, so I could make the occasional comment. But I was lost in a whirlwind of data, not really confident enough to know when I could chip in. (I may have spun it more positively when I first wrote it but looking back… this was definitely more the case!)

Not much has changed between then and now. Unfortunately, I’ve missed the year 9 and year 10 parents’ evenings, where I know I could confidently talk to parents about the students. But, honestly, I didn’t really see the point in going – the year 12 students have 2 teachers, each for 4 hours a fortnight. I have been teaching these students for 2 hours a fortnight this half term. It doesn’t equate to much! However, the teacher I sat with for literature regularly asked me what I thought and, even if I couldn’t say much, it felt good. It will be way more exciting when doing it with my own classes though!

Secondly, another one of my friends decided to write a short story – a wonderful piece about the aftermaths of the destruction of the internet (if you want to read it I can send you a link… if that’s ok with my friend that is!). So that got me thinking yesterday, maybe I should do some writing. I never did. But then this morning, inspiration struck – the one thing that I have been struggling most with this week: 

(WordPress has formatted it weirdly so I’ve had to put in full stops to separate the stanzas… why does nothing work just how I want to!)

Procrastination: A Poem

Words 

leave my head through my fingers

tapped out on the screen in front of me

then

Deleted.

.

Excuses.

I need to warm

up my brain.

Maybe a word search

or sudoku.

Anything to help me regain my flow and finish this work and suddenly it’s been 3 hours.

And I’ve still not written 

anything. 

.

Target.

I’ll get to XYZ number of words by ABC O’clock

Ping

Better check that.

Stumbling

into

a

world

of 

lost

time.

And before I know it I’m back on Facebook or Instagram or Twitter or anything to prevent the words from forcing their way out of my brain.

.

It’s got to be done.

Why not do it early?

Why not finish it before I need to?

Why not waste a few days complaining about it and using emails as an excuse as to why I can’t get a 

bloody 

first 

draft 

finished?

.

But then

inspiration strikes

and I am that much closer to the word count 

or the word count is far behind me.

I reach my goal and it should feel better than anything; 

I should feel relieved, hopeful, ecstatic the hard work is over!

But it’s not

and I don’t

feel

better.

.

Words 

leave my head through my fingers

tapped out on the screen in front of me

then

ignored for another day.

.

.

J

Currently Reading:

(part of my procrastination this week has led me to finishing a few of the books I have been dipping in and out of over the past few weeks!)

Bleak House – Charles Dickens 

Not that I’ve actually read any of it this week! I plan to take it to Ireland with me though.

Dreaming the Bear– Mimi Thebo

Loved it! Such a sweet, simple tale about a sickly teenager and her relationship with a hibernating bear. Now I want to visit Yellowstone park… Perfect for middle grade readers, I will be lending it to my step-cousin to read!

Our House– Louise Candlish

Very odd book – few twists in the end, a couple I didn’t predict (always welcome in a crime novel!) but I liked it because it was a bit different to the classic who dunnit books. A fairly easy read, gripping – but not one I couldn’t put down.

The Ones That Disappeared – Zana Fraillon

A fairly decent book; definitely had potential but the ending ruined it for me. The book was inspired by child slavery – sending out a message of hope. But it was very unrealistic. I won’t spoil anything, but don’t get your own hopes up too high if reading this one. I enjoyed it nonetheless – just wouldn’t reread.